Social Graces

Recently I was out having coffee with a friend when I was approached by a young lady that noticed I was wearing my Windsor Air show T-shirt. With a full colour graphic of Canada’s CF-18 on the front it served to spark a conversation about aircraft, air shows and her interest in flight and the military. Chit-chat was initiated and what started out as pleasant short conversation about the air show quickly dragged into a one sided monologue about her views on politics, immigration, her family history, travels abroad etc, etc, etc. Not wanting to be rude but realizing that this person had nothing but time on their hands and no qualms about taking over our evening I proceeded to drop hints that we wanted to resume our conversation. Averting our glances, reading magazines and shifting in our seats did little to phase this person and even a “Well it was nice talking to you” had no effect. Clearly she was on a mission with no apparent end in sight.
There are unwritten rules that exist for a myriad of social situations occurring in everyday life. A three to five minute chat in a store with a stranger or casual acquaintance seems to be a universally acceptable timetable. Cornering someone for 10 or 15 minutes with a rambling dialogue throws up a flag that social graces may be absent or skewed. Here's another one. When is too late to call someone on the phone? 10 o’clock? 11 o’clock? This is totally variable but must still be considered depending on who you’re calling. Some of my friends I can call just about anytime. I don’t generally call my parents or people I don’t know that well much past 10 during the week.
Personal space is another pet peeve of mine. Western civilization places a distance of 24 – 36 inches as an acceptable distance to interact with people on a casual basis. Gender, environment and other factors may affect this number. Other cultures around the world may find closer (or farther) contact the norm. Once again social graces come into play.
Don’t get me wrong, I love good conversation and will stop and talk to just about anyone if they have something to say. But sometimes you gotta know when to cut it off. Call me on the phone too but if it rings at 3:00 AM I’m thinking the worst. And as far as personal space there is an old song by The Police that sums it up “Don’t Stand” (so close to me)
So the next time you’re out look around and observe how people interact. Different environments will affect peoples behaviour, what they say and how they say it. Altered states of mind will also have an impact on conduct as well but that’s another blog entry.
Cheers